Don’t Blame It On The Rain

My sweet daughter woke up @5:30am — she didn’t go back to sleep. My three boys woke up @6am — full-force & full-speed-ahead. For they only have two-speeds — full-speed & sleeping. On this cold, cloudy, rainy morning.

So my sweet husband brought me my favorite latte @8am while I was buried beneath yet another load of laundry to fold AND sorting through our dirty sheets & towels — because it’s a rainy day after-all — why not tackle some extra housework, right?

And then my not-quite 9-month-old daughter pulled up to stand for the FIRST-time — what a moment to celebrate & cheer — but as she accomplished this milestone my sweet baby girl knocked my mug off the coffee table spilling at least half of that perfectly handcrafted latte — ON the clean laundry — I had just finished folding. All before 9am. While I do not cry over spilled milk — I definitely cry over spilled coffee! 😉

And yet still — I give thanks — because giving thanks always is the way to a joy-filled life — because giving thanks always is a way of “living thanksgiving” — on this rainy day & every day.

So on this rainy day:
— I give thanks for the rain because our grass, trees, flowers & garden oh-so-desperately need it. — I give thanks for my husband’s surprise gift of my favorite handcrafted latte (yes, even though it was spilled) — for this sweet gift shows his affection, kindness & love.
— I give thanks because these endless loads of laundry remind my heart of great memories we have made together as a family, of our joy & laughter all together.
— I give thanks for the linens, the towels remind my heart that we have warm beds to sleep & clean water to bathe.
— I give thanks for the dirty dishes that remind my heart we have enough heathy food to eat.
— I give for my sweet daughter’s new milestones that remind my heart that each & every new day is a gift — yes, even the chaotic, crazy, difficult, demanding days — each new day is a gift to be surprised by joy, to walk by faith, to walk in love, to give thanks — always!

So I don’t blame it on the rain. For though it may seem too simple — even the act of taking the time to write this list of reminds my heart that the LORD has filled my heart with laughter & songs of praise! Once again — the song of my heart is grateful!

Another Day of the Same

5am. Dark. Quiet. Still. When the cries of my baby girl beckon me to awaken before the dawn — though I am exhausted beyond words with a restless night behind me — still I rise to face all that this new day requires. Another day of the same. 

It can be exhausting & fatiguing hour-after-hour, day-after-day, week-after-week, year-after-year waking to face another day of the same. Tirelessly working morning to night yet all-too-often feeling I’ve accomplished nothing.

Another day of the same. It’s exhausting & fatiguing feeling like I have everything to prove yet nothing to show for these admittedly long days as a Mama “in-the-trenches” — unless this shirt lovingly “decorated” with snot, drool & baby food somehow counts as a medal or trophy. I’d wave a white flag of surrender, but it’s buried beneath the mountain of dirty laundry — filled with “torn-in-the-knees” jeans, superhero undies & countless pairs of mismatched socks.

Another day of the same. I’m always in a hurry yet always behind. Hard-pressed on every side — everything seems urgent. Chasing after that oh-so-fleeting moment of satisfaction — triumphantly crossing just one item off that ever-pressing, never-ending to-do-list — and I know that my day will never “go as planned” — because I’ve already been interrupted 10-times in just as many minutes.

Another day of the same. My house is cluttered, my heart is cluttered, my mind is cluttered — trying oh-so-desperately to keep a thousand thoughts together all at once:

“What did I plan for dinner tonight, how could I forget I already wrote that down — twice, did I ever sign that school form, when is that bill due, are the boys’ uniforms clean, what is that smell, is that pee on the bathroom floor, why is it so quiet, how many hours until bedtime, am I doing this whole parenting thing right, does anyone else feel this way?”

Another day of the same. It is easy, so easy, to feel worn-down & weary. Yes, indeed. Days like these I am wear·y /ˈwirē/ adjective/ lacking strength, endurance/ feeling worn out, worn down from doing the same task(s) repeatedly or for a long time/ feeling exhausted, fatigued.

I recently wrote these words as an invitation for your heart & mine:

I’m preaching Gospel to myself, and my restless heart is called to rejoice… “Rejoice always — pray continually — give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

THIS has become the song of my heart — to find contentment & joy in the mundane, monotonous, ordinary — I begin giving thanks. For giving thanks transforms the mundane to the miraculous. On another day of the same — the song of my heart is grateful! 

So at 5am. Awake before the dawn.
I give thanks for the gift of watching the bright & brilliant colors paint the skies with the sunrise.

I give thanks for holding my sweet baby girl all morning — because my heart is reminded that these days are a gift — her tiny fingers so tightly holding mine — breathing in that baby smell & soaking up the softness of her skin against my cheek as she smiles up at me.

I give thanks for the dirt, mud & mulch-covered clothing filling my laundry bins — because my heart is reminded of my boys’ muddy, sweat-streaked cheeks against mine in wildly-affectionate hugs with beaming, brilliant smiles filled with joy & delight. Planting seeds in our garden for a much-anticipated veggie harvest, mulching a landscape of brightly-colored bouquets & flowering trees just starting to blossom.

I give thanks for the dirty dishes overflowing in the kitchen sink — because my heart is reminded that my family has enough food to eat on another day of the same. 

I give thanks for the sandy footprints on the floor by the door — because my heart is reminded of our laughter together as a family chasing & splashing each other in the lake.

My friends, can you see how giving thanks  transforms the mundane to the miraculous? On another day of the same — the song of my heart is grateful! And through giving thanks — the LORD has filled my heart with laughter & songs of praise! 

So I’m preaching Gospel to myself, and my restless heart is called to rejoice…”Rejoice always — pray continually — give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

When I rise to face another day of the same — I rise to give thanks! THIS is the way to a joy-filled life! For THIS is God’s promise to us! And THAT is good news! Thanks be to God. Hallelujah & Amen. The song of my heart is #grateful!

Giving Up

She sat across the table at my favorite café nervously running her fingers around the mug of freshly brewed coffee trying ever-so-bravery to find the courage to speak the words she oh-so-desperately needed to say. Fighting back tears, she whispered the words like a confession, like a prayer — filled with guilt & fearing judgement. “There are days I feel like giving up.”

It’s one of those all-too-often unseen, unspoken truths. In the world of perfection & performance — continually comparing & critiquing ourselves with other parents we see on Facebook & Pinterest, at the grocery store, school activities, athletic events, the park, the playground, the pediatrician’s office. We only see “snapshots” that seem to paint a perfect picture of parents & their children who have this whole parenting gig figured out.

When we are honest — transparent, raw, real, unfiltered honest — we have been the parent with a defiant toddler in the grocery store. We have been the parent raising our voice at the park or playground. We have been the parent wrestling with our anger as our children from toddlers to teenagers repeatedly test the boundaries we set for them. We have been the parent wrestling with restless sleep in the dark of night — wondering if we’re doing this whole parenting thing “right.” There are days when we feel like giving up.

I know, believe me, I know — it’s exhausting & fatiguing feeling like you have everything to prove yet nothing to show for these admittedly long days as a Mama “in-the-trenches” — unless this shirt lovingly “decorated” with snot, drool & baby food somehow counts as a medal or trophy. You’d wave a white flag of surrender, but it’s buried beneath the mountain of dirty laundry. There are days when you feel like giving up.

I know, believe me, I know — it’s exhausting & fatiguing waking up to face another day of the same — chasing after that oh-so-fleeting moment of satisfaction — triumphantly crossing just one item off that ever-pressing, never-ending to-do-list — and you know that your day will never “go as planned” — because you’ve already been interrupted 10-times in just as many minutes. There are days when you feel like giving up.

There are days when I feel like giving up.

Yes. I said it. This mama’s confession.

There are days when I feel like giving up — because motherhood is so much more than I expected.

I expected my friendships would change.

I did not expect to feel so lonely. It’s ironic. But it remains true. I am often lonely even though I’m rarely alone — even when going to the bathroom or taking a shower.

I expected my children to break things & to be messy. Messes are part of childhood — part of being a Mama “in-the-trenches.”

I did not expect how much of my time & energy would be consumed by managing the mess & mischief of little loves. I did not expect constantly refereeing & redirecting behavior — changing diapers & cleaning up after those inevitable worse-possible-time diaper-explosions & projectile-spit-ups — pressing onward “in-the-trenches” of potty training. I did not expect days filled with half-eaten lollipops, broken crayons, Cheerios, crushed cheezits & LEGO pieces aplenty — walls decorated with crayon & marker “artwork.”

I expected that I would be tired.

I did not expect that I would be required to learn to live each day feeling wearied “lacking strength, endurance/ feeling worn out, worn down from doing the same task(s) repeatedly or for a long time/ feeling exhausted, fatigued.”

I expected the crying —

I did not expect how much of that crying would be mine.

There are days I feel like giving up.

So I’m preaching Gospel to myself, and my restless heart is called to rejoice…

“Rejoice always — pray continually — give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

When I feel like giving up — I begin giving thanks!

I give thanks for the half-eaten lollipops, broken crayons, Cheerios, crushed cheezits & LEGO pieces aplenty that decorate my kitchen table & floors — because my heart is reminded of the joy, delight & laughter of my children!

I give thanks for the walls decorated with crayon & marker “artwork” — because my heart is reminded that life is a beautiful, messy masterpiece.

I give thanks for the sandy footprints on the floor [that I just swept yesterday] — because my heart is reminded of the boys’ bright-eyes filled with wonder & delight as they spent the morning chasing & jumping waves barefoot in the sand.

I give thanks for their messes — because in the midst of their messes my heart is reminded to love my children with love that is patient, kind, not easily angered — with Love that comes beside them in the midst of the mess to cheer on & encourage, to celebrate & rejoice in the growing, learning, trying but not yet quite succeeding — to lift them up when they fall.

I give thanks for my failings, shortcomings & mistakes as a Mama — because in the midst of my messes my heart is reminded to that God loves me with love that is patient, kind, not easily angered — with Love that comes beside me in the midst of the mess to cheer on & encourage, to celebrate & rejoice in the growing, learning, trying but not yet quite succeeding — to lift me up when I fall.

So I’m preaching Gospel to myself, and my restless heart is called to rejoice…

“Rejoice always — pray continually — give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

When I feel like giving up — I begin giving thanks!

When I am interrupted 10-times in just as many minutes — because someone needs me to read their favorite story or look at the beautiful picture they colored just for me — I give thanks!

When I stop folding the laundry — because someone needs me to dance barefoot to their very favorite song — I give thanks!

When I’m cooking dinner & paying bills at the kitchen table, but I only get halfway through at best — because someone needs you to help with math flash cards & spelling words for an upcoming test — I give thanks!

When the sink is still overflowing with dinner’s dirty dishes — because someone needs me to give hugs & kisses that heal every one of their boo-boos — I give thanks!

When I finally arrive at bedtime marathon — racing ahead with the finish line in sight — but I stay in my children’s room — because someone needs me — to chase away the monsters that hide in the closet & lurk under the bed, to sing lullabies, kiss their soft cheeks & whisper words of love as they fall asleep — I give thanks!

So I’m preaching Gospel to myself, and my restless heart is called to rejoice…

“Rejoice always — pray continually — give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

When I feel like giving up — I begin giving thanks!

Back to that woman in the corner table whispering those words of confession, “there are days when I feel like giving up.” I know without a trace of doubt that this invitation has changed & transformed her life as a “mama-in-the-trenches.” Because that woman was me.

So I’m preaching Gospel to myself & extending the same invitation to you, for your restless heart is called to rejoice…

“Rejoice always — pray continually — give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

When you feel like giving up — begin giving thanks!